On the Edge
by Samsara Amaranth
Summary: Apparently death doesn't give you a reprieve from having an unruly sibling... Rebirth. Laws defying physics. A twin brother with a demon stuck in his gut, having a penchant for running smack dab into trouble. And don't even get me started about the goddamn prophecy... Is it even a wonder I am teetering on the edge? SI/OC as Naruto's twin sister.
1. Prologue

**Title:** On the Edge

 **Author:** Samsara Amaranth

 **Summary:** Apparently death doesn't give you a reprieve from having an unruly sibling. Rebirth. Laws defying physics. A twin brother with a demon stuck in his gut, having a penchant for running smack dab into trouble. And don't even get me started about the goddamn prophecy... Is it even a wonder I am teetering on the edge? SI/OC as Naruto's twin sister.

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto doesn't belong to me in any way or form. Neither am I making any profit from it.

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 _ **Prologue**_

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" _Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning when I wake up, I am reborn."_ _ **–Mahatma Gandhi**_

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Some people say that death is _eternal_. They believe in an afterlife, in heaven, in hell and they live accordingly. They _bind themselves_ to these vague notions and _shape their life_.

 _I wasn't such a person_.

Despite my upbringing, I wasn't particularly religious; I'd like to think I would've been classified as agnostic by the norm. Yes, I often pondered about Death, involved myself in philosophical debates but was of the opinion that 'when it comes, it comes and let's leave it at that.' _Wasn't I paradoxical?_

But then again in my previous world, I wasn't thrown headfirst into battle, into killing for jobs, into mental conditioning of children being killers and assassins. Of being able to mould earth, to control air, to shape water, to electrify lightning, to breathe fire; to be able to walk on trees and buildings and defying laws of gravity as if it doesn't even exist _! Or as I would've said in my previous life, to harness 'superpowers'._

 _Previous world, previous life?_ What sort of stuff am I blathering about? If I spoke like this I would've been chucked into the loony bin before. But now even faster I'd be left to the tender mercies of the T and I Department or for a mental check to the Yamanaka clan.

Anyways, I have a bone to pick with those 'YOLO' screaming dolts. _You Only Live Once?_ What a joke! If it is not, _then why was I born again?_

I was a normal teenager. I lived an average lifestyle which any upper-middle-class family lived. I had parents who adored me and whom I loved wholeheartedly in return and a baby brother who annoyed the stuffing out of me yet I'd raze an army for him. I had friends. I was smart not insanely so but better than the rest. I was pretty but conventionally so.

The only thing that might've possibly been different about me is that I obsessed over manga, anime novels and fictional worlds. I loved to write, make new worlds, live in the worlds made by me, or those that were created by someone else and do the impossible. But more than that, I _loved to get lost_ in the endless possibilities in those worlds, in those words.

Ah... Or you'd like to point out; I loved to escape from the reality.

I was a normal teen preparing for med entrance exams. I cracked it, after failing once at that. I got into the best-med colleges my country could offer. All the hard work, cramming, devising new learning tricks paid off.

Failure set me _straight_ on my route; made me _focus_ on my goal. It made me drive for my ambition. I wasn't lost _on the road of life_ anymore as Kaka-sensei would've put it.

I overcame all of them; the _loss_ and setbacks; the anxiety attacks and _depression_. You could say _I came onto myself_. I became a self-assured person, a person who stopped doubting and started _believing_ in their own self-worth; a person to be _proud of_.

Rebirth couldn't crush that self-confidence. I won't deny that it _broke me_ in a way that wasn't possible to repair. I was flawed. But who wouldn't be after losing everyone and everything? I was _little_ insane but all the best people are so! I was bent, cracked but not broken.

There were major hits, punches that _almost_ shattered me beyond the point of oblivion. But I _persisted_. I did not break. I managed to survive but more importantly to _live_ in this merciless world. Yes, _things changed_. I became better than before yet worsened in some aspects. My beliefs questioned, my thoughts quizzed but I got through. The centre of my universe was _realigned_. The one thing that remained constant was my fair gender. I shudder at the mere thought of it...

How did I die, you ask? I wouldn't say it was an ordinary death nor it was a clichéd one. I was _satisfied_. I think I became _worthy_ of my name. I could bear it pride now that I followed it essentially and quintessentially. What was my name? _Neither matters anymore._

I still don't get why I remembered. I might've offended some deity or higher beings but my understanding on 'God' or whatever metaphysical being existed wasn't exactly correct. I have put it _mildly_. I might've manipulated and slipped through the keys and cogs of time and worlds. I was a _little_ slippery like that.

Like I said don't understand why I was reincarnated. I don't know for sure if it is _real_ though, despite it seeming real enough. I am honestly more self-aware than other people _so to_ _speak._ Thus I know that my _crazy_ mind could cook up some _bizarre_ things. Ironic since my cooking is terrible. _Bad pun,_ sorry.

How was my rebirth? That I think I can _try_ to answer.

I remembered feeling nothing. I was numb. None of my senses worked. _What is happening? Didn't I die? Is it some sort of limbo?_

Then I could feel again. It was warm. Warm everywhere; inside me, beside me, around me. _It is getting hotter._ _I am burning. Is this fire? Am I in hell?_

 _Later I'd find out that it was due to my developing chakra coils._

It receded awhile later. I couldn't be more thankful. Now it felt like warm energy enriching me from everywhere. It felt like being doused in a warm bath in winters. Like the sip of bitter hot coffee in harsh cold. _Later I'd know it as chakra_.

The soft nudges beside me started. The soft crooning voice hummed. The masculine voice murmured nonsensical things but still provided me comfort. It was dark, it was warm. But I started feeling content. _It felt like home_.

But then it all _stopped abruptly_. The walls constricted together and lumped me and the nudgy thing together. I couldn't understand what was happening. Then the nudgy thing slipped and all I could feel was panic as the walls started closing on me, _choking m_ e. That was the first time in _either of my lives_ that I ever felt claustrophobic. _What is happening? Is it my final judgement?_

And then there was light and air. _I couldn't breathe? Light ? Touch? Please, I need Air! Breathe_. Something smacked me on my back and it was like a dam broke. _I could breathe again!_ I started crying, sobbing harshly and _wailing loudly_. All the terror that I was feeling came out in fits of tears.

I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't see anything properly it was like somebody slipped _thick blurry lenses in my eyes_.

A baby's ocular system isn't well developed; nor are their auditory and olfactory systems advanced enough to use their senses. _But during that time I couldn't think rationally at all. Everything was a jumble of nerves and panic and no, No! What is going on!?_

I felt like I was carted around by large hands. All I saw was a yellow blur swiftly placing me next to a red one. Then I felt _a nudge_. The _relief_ I felt was so immense that I stopped crying immediately.

I don't know what happened but the very next moment I was snatched away and even to my undeveloped ears _screams_ were heard. There was a riot of _panic_ and I was shifted and shuffled around. And then I felt like being choked by the _warmth_ that once again turned into _fire_. Malicious, _evil, rage pain, anger, hurt, stop; Make it stop, please_! Then a cold shiver that brought upon the feeling _of dying_ and then everything _stopped_.

 _Later I'd understand that it was the murder of my biological parents, the presence of_ _ **Shinigami**_ _and the unsealing and sealing of Kyuubi._

I knew I couldn't possibly be paralysed or brain damaged. _My death_ wouldn't have allowed my _body to survive_ or to be recovered.

I was _**reborn**_. It took me awhile to figure it out. You'd think I must've been happy. To get a new chance to do over things, to completely fill an empty slate. _Wrong._ Because at what _cost_? _Losing everything_ wasn't worth it for a second chance. _At all_. Trust me when I say that.

Neither would you understand how I felt as an infant. I was _helpless_. It was terrifying, horrifying and _stupendously frightening_. No matter how many _adjectives_ I use I _cannot_ describe it; the sheer helplessness of being carted around. Of being _unable_ to see despite having eyes. Of being _hard_ of hearing; smelling _only_ the basics of fragrances. Of your body _not responding_ to your order; not understanding, _not being able_ to communicate. Of being _able to think_ but your body is _unable to sustain_ those thoughts. The feeling of your muscles _lacking_ coordination; _not even twitching_.

The _nudgy_ thing which brought me the sense of familiarity and _gratifying relief_ was my twin. When my eyes developed enough to see, the first thing I clearly saw was blonde hair, _the same ones I had just seen after my birth_ and then a smudge of blue where the baby's eyes were supposed to be. My twin was the only thing that _anchored_ me to _reality_. After all, it was just another cute baby, unknown helpless and adorable. I cuddled with him _(which I would come to know afterwards as his gender)_ often. I played with him, entertained him _as I could_ in my baby body; I was very affectionate with him. _He was just an innocent baby; my baby twin. And I had always loved my little brother with everything I had..._

I knew I came off as a weird baby. I cried, wailed and _sobbed_ at times and then other times I went completely _still_. The _tantrums_ were the _instincts_ of the _baby_ body I was inhabiting in face of fear and being _shock still_ was my _adult mind_ screaming _weariness_ and caution. I behaved differently only with my twin, treating everything and everyone with distrust. _Later I'd be told that my behaviour was diagnosed as the effect of the Kyuubi's chakra on my system and how due to my own actions I was damn near torn away from my twin brother. And the only reason I was with him was because of The Third Hokage's orders and the wishes of my late biological parents._

It took me a long time to control my actions _voluntarily_.

 _Our_ caretakers were weird men with masks. I often gave into my baby instincts and played with them. After all, I _lost_ all my pride and dignity when others bathed, fed and cleaned my butt what was a _little more_? They did remove their masks to teach us words.

I tried to understand the spoken language that they spoke. There were similarities. It clicked me as some weird dialect of Japanese. It must've been an _ancient_ one because it had _intertwined words_ ; that I could barely recognize from other ancient languages. Our caretakers were very _careful_ with words around us. They spoke as if they were forcing themselves in order that we learn. It was all _robotic_ , like a _job_ instead of happy parents or even babysitters cooing. When my vocal cords developed enough to speak I tried to mimic them often. My baby twin followed me through. I used him to measure my developments just like he relied on me for support and affection. It was _hard_ not to love him. He was _bubbly_ and _sweet_ and such a _playful and happy baby_. There were times when I felt like I was betraying my younger brother. _Shame, how could you? NO! But my brother was always the all encompassing sky giving love to everyone. Guilt ate me. But I had always been selfish. I needed my baby twin to survive..._

It took me nearly a year to completely and clearly see. During that one year _aside_ from my twin, the other thing that kept me _sane_ was the _warmth_. It _flowed_ through everybody. It felt like different _colours_. Like colours were _sounds_. It tuned like an orchestra, with varying pitches. I thought I had sound colour synaesthesia. _With experience, I'd learn that it was the chakra moving in their bodies, fluctuating due to their emotions and it came to me as easily as it did; I sensed it intensely because I lived a life without it._

The first thing that brought my attention to the world I lived in was _familiar_ in a way I _couldn't explain_ were the weird metal headbands that each of our masked caretakers had. I remember trying to clutch it and them shaking their heads; mouthing _Konoha_ whilst I traced my pudgy fingers through the _leaf like_ structure or was it like a _snail_?

Contrary to popular belief I _did not_ _get_ _it right away_. After your death and consequent rebirth _no matter_ how obsessed you were with fandoms they are the _last thing_ you think of. It was when I was trying to sleep, reviewing stories I had loved to _divert my attention_ from the pain and _loss_ I felt _though muted_ within me. It suddenly came _crashing_ down to me. And people wonder why I am teetering _**on the edge**_ of my sanity or was it _reality_? Was I swaying between two worlds?

My _name_ is once again justified, isn't it? The _edge_ of sea...

I am _Nagisa Uzumaki_ and this is my story...

* * *

* 汀, "water's **edge** /shore"

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 **Word Count** _(since the title of the chapter): **Around 2,300**_

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 **Author's Note:** Hello everyone! Alas... I gave into the guilty pleasure of writing my own SI/OC fanfic. It was playing in my mind since ages and I just _had_ to write it. Like a year or so... I haven't seen the anime, just parts of it. Most of my info comes from the manga and wiki. No it absolutely won't be a Mary Sue, since I loathe them on principle. Do try and correct me if I even tend to even slightly sway in that direction... My opinion of hitting cliché's ... Puh- lease it isn't fanfiction if it hasn't got cliché's... I have got eons of fanfictions involving many fandoms planned, most of them SI/OC's _(yes female, girl power!)_ but I am afraid they won't be coming any time soon. _**P.S.**_ _My profile has yet to be written..._

Please do _**review**_ and tell me what you think of it! I apologize if I don't update any time soon since I am between preparations of my med entrance exam. So if I update late it might be in May otherwise next month!

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 **References Used:** If you got them, some were supposed to induce a laugh... Hmm... They might've been unintentional!

 _Twilight_ (nudgy thing - It wasn't intentional)

 _Katekyo Hitman Reborn_ (reborn)

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 **Recommendations: a)** _Silver Queen's_ **Dreaming of Sunshine**

 **b)** _Aleycat4eva's_ **Of the River and the Sea**

* * *

 _ **-Samsara**_


	2. Arc 1- Chapter 1 - The Weasel

**Title:** On the Edge

 **Author:** Samsara Amaranth

 **Summary:** Apparently death doesn't give you a reprieve from having an unruly sibling. Rebirth. Laws defying physics. A twin brother with a demon stuck in his gut having a penchant for running smack dab into trouble. And don't even get me started about the goddamn prophecy... Is it even a wonder I am teetering on the edge? SI/OC as Naruto's twin sister.

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto doesn't belong to me in any way or form. Neither am I making any profit from it.

* * *

 _ **Arc One: The Orphanage**_

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 _ **Chapter One- The Weasel**_

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" _Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's ending."_

 _-_ _ **Seneca**_

* * *

It took me some time to digest the fact that I was reborn in a world that was supposed to be fictional.

 _Figuring out who I was?_ It didn't take a person with extraordinary brilliance to do that.

I mean how _hard_ could it be to distinguish sunny blond hair, sky blue eyes, whisker marks and cheerful laughter?

With our caretakers repeated murmuring of 'Konoha' and village whilst symbolizing the leaf on their rather iconic headbands it surely didn't take long... _At all_...

After all, there was only 'the main protagonist' of a certain show who fit the description of my baby twin brother startlingly... Who had the entire series named after him?!

Like I said it didn't take a rocket scientist to connect the dots.

 _Why Naruto, of course!_

I was reincarnated as the twin sister to the main protagonist of the goddamn Naruto-verse!

 _Duh, captain obvious!_

My thoughts might've slipped onto being a _tad_ hysterical there.

I mean, I just had to absorb the fact that, I had ANBU assassins acting as my nannies; who helped me eat and shit on a daily basis.

A baby twin brother who had a hammer space, which could contain a few mountains tall, fox demon in his gut.

On top of it, I was in a village full of highly trained psychos who could kill me within the blink of an eye in a thousand different ways by a toothpick. My apologies, I mean senbon... Like the one our current caretaker carters in his mouth everywhere he goes.

That's the strangest addiction I've heard up to this day. But who am I to complain? I was loonier than these nutcases, for sure...

The only person seeming to have a semblance of normalcy was the old lady visiting us in the mornings. I concluded her to be the matron of the orphanage I was currently residing in.

My scrambled brain recalled the fact that Naruto lived in the 'Konoha Orphanage' up to the age of five whereupon he was moved into an apartment.

It must've been overflowing with the orphans left after the fatalities that occurred during the nine-tails attack. That explained why the matron visited merely once in the morning and that too with a disturbing amount of caution.

As for the ANBU caretakers, the village must've been on high alert. I suppose Konoha was severely weakened and the 'Third Hokage' didn't want to take any risks with the _legacies_ of his successor and the village's strongest weapon, _the Jinchuuriki_.

It certainly explained why one of our caretakers was, from what I remember, a member of ' _The_ _Hiraishin Squad'_ and the late Hokage's personal guard. The _senbon_ was a dead ringer.

I know I am being very cynical, but I can't see any other reason, the Hokage would assign one of his elites to guard two infants, whilst the village was in dire need of manpower.

Naruto thrived under their attention; the caretakers', the old matron (who warmed up to him in no time) and mine. It soon became obvious that it was in his nature to be gregarious. He babbled along making me laugh, as rare I do nowadays.

I came to accept him. It was _difficult_ at first, _so very difficult._ _That the happy baby wasn't as unknown as I thought, that he was someone my_ baby brother _used to adore! Why was I referring to_ him _using the past tense? No no!_

I just wanted to stay away then... _Why was he,_ my _twin? Why was I here?_ Why me _, why me? No nono... Please..._

I wanted to sure... I tried, _I tried_... Perhaps I didn't try _enough_... He made it _impossible_. He'd whine and cry when I kept my distance. He wailed and sobbed when I gave him the cold shoulder. He would sulk entire days. Sometimes he would even refuse to eat. I never felt as horrible of myself as I ever felt. He was just a baby. I couldn't do it anymore. So I gave in. He accepted me back with a teary, bubbly laugh and I finally felt _anchored back_.

I think I was glad for that. I am not ashamed to admit it, anymore.

Imagine a girl in her late teens relying on an infant as her _lifeline_. _How absurd..._

In the end, I decided to be selfish and love him. Love him like I used to love _him._ Care for him as _he_ would've liked to do so for the character _he_ admired... But he was no longer a character, was he?

I came to a decision. I decided on loving Naruto with everything I had, _with all my heart,_ since _he_ wouldn't have accepted any less...

Yes, my reason was as selfish as it could get. But I couldn't honestly offer anymore... I was too wrung out. It was _a lifetime too many._

That was it then. My days started and ended in an everyday routine.

And of course just as I was adjusting myself and thinking nothing could get stranger, I was proven wrong.

The day started as normally as my days could. We woke up, were fed and bathed by our Assassin nannies, awaiting the old matron who'd look after us for an hour with a weary smile and stories.

Naruto and I had started forming broken words. Perhaps it was my influence, I didn't know. Were we speaking too early? Or was it the norm in ninja children?

All I could affirm with complete confidence, that Naruto being the hyperactive little tyke he was, was to be held responsible for us being to crawl-walk around.

We were babbling to each other and crawling in circles when the door to our room was pushed open by the old matron lady whose minuscule _warmth_ , which I deduced as _chakra_ started shifting differently and then there was _more_. I knew hers felt like spindly fibres woven in thin, stretched thread; weary and bone-tired. These were new. Somebody else was there; more than one person?

Naruto the lovely child went to greet her with a gummy smile. I began to roll up, alerted.

After all, I mused; it was too much to ask for a completely normal day; well as normal it could be for me, _here and now_.

I was proven correct when Naruto's childish squeal was echoed by another one.

From what I could make out from the distance I was, there stood a lady, a blob squealing in her arms and another presence shadowing her.

The matron spoke softly to her to whom she replied in a pleasantly gentle voice. The matron vanished soon after.

I was almost halfway there next to Naruto when she came closer and bent down next to him. My blond idiot was staring at her with childish fascination.

I felt wary. It was not uncalled for.

She knelt down and placed her kid down. There wasn't anything odd about it but then he started crawling to me at an astonishing speed; for a baby that is.

I stopped, shocked when Naruto let out a cry and moved towards me too.

The lady and the shadow behind her let out fond laughs.

I could make out their features now. The lady was pretty with pale, elegant features with dark eyes and hair. The boy was similar in looks and colour. He had weird lines on his face though. He might've been five or six from my approximation. The kid who Naruto was in a race with, to get to me ignored them stubbornly.

The kid was cute; cuter than he had any right to be. He too had large dark eyes and a messy mop of dark hair with fair chubby cheeks and a determined little frown. And currently, those eyes were fixed on my hair with a clear focus.

I had frozen halfway and rightly so. Those three rang warning bells in my head.

I was too small for me to distinguish my features properly, but I had dark crimson hair; the Uzumaki's signature hair and clear violet eyes; the likes which Uzumaki Kushina had. And that brat had zoned on my hair.

He was mere inches from my face when Naruto barreled into him and they both went sprawling sideways. The elder boy let out an alarmed cry of, "Sasuke." That quickly brought me to reality.

Naruto was on top of the newly dubbed Sasuke and they looked disoriented. I made my way quickly to Naruto when Sasuke shifted towards me. But my baby twin wasn't having any of it and clutched my hand.

The pretty lady came towards us with worried eyes and the elder boy mirrored Naruto and grasped Sasuke's pudgy hand.

Uchiha Itachi hefted his foolish little brother up in his arms as Uchiha Mikoto fussed over Naruto and me after reassuring herself that her youngest was alright.

Sasuke squirmed in Itachi's hold as Mikoto lifted us up in each of her arms, cradling us tenderly.

Despite my initial wariness, _it felt nice_. To be held in such a loving manner was a sensation I had not experienced since my rebirth. It smelt sweet and felt safe. I gave into my instincts and burrowed closer and I could see my brother do the same.

Mikoto adjusted herself so that she was sitting in a seiza position. It was then I felt something patting my head. It felt uncoordinated but gentle. As if somebody was trying to stroke my hair.

I furrowed my brows and turned; only to feel pudgy fingers poking my forehead. Wide eyed I blinked as Naruto made an angry little grunt.

I could hear Itachi laughing and Mikoto giggling. But my eyes were on the brat in front of me who eyed me with such wonder that it unsettled me.

I removed my eyes from him and looked beside me and saw a pouting Naruto. Ignoring Sasuke I cuddled Naruto. I could literally feel Naruto's childish triumph.

Sasuke in all his impatience, made his annoyance clear, by giving my hair a sharp tug. To which Naruto smacked his hand on his opponent's forehead.

And it escalated to a full blown baby squabble war with me being the object of attention.

I paused, blinking owlishly at the scene before me, as Naruto and Sasuke started wrestling as soon as they were laid down on the mattress. From my perch in Mikoto's embrace, I could do nothing but watch, my poor brain still unable to comprehend.

That was the brat who'd cause my brother immeasurable pain. The boy who my brother would never give up on; whose recognition my baby twin would yearn for. Who'd tear an arm and blow a hole through my little anchor's body.

It was difficult not to resent him at first sight. I had to remind myself to breathe, to remember that this was still a kid who hadn't brought any harm to my brother.

I started as I was tugged by smaller arms. Itachi hugged me to his chest with a soft croon.

This was the kid that'd murder his entire family for a village which would declare him a traitor and drive the brat squabbling with my brother, so insane with hatred that he'd try to destroy myanchor.

He rubbed my back trying to calm me. I realised I had gone still again. When I finally relaxed enough, Itachi murmured something and poked my forehead. Then he set me down gently. I saw Naruto sitting victoriously atop Sasuke who was panting with his efforts to get the blond off.

Seeing me coming closer Naruto flailed and jumped off Sasuke and rushed to me. He brought a fist up proudly and I finally giggled.

I could feel the atmosphere get less tense. Mikoto was trying to soothe a grumpy Sasuke.

This was the woman that would stand by and watch as her eldest son gets overwhelmed with pressure and ignore all the signs, being completely submissive to her husband. This was the woman who'll remain pathetically passive and refuse to act despite realising that her own flesh and blood was being torn between two different sides; of family and duty, of love and responsibility

I discarded that line of thought immediately. It wouldn't do me any good, thinking like this, now...

Sitting close to Naruto, I watched as Sasuke slowly made his way towards us in a childish attempt of truce.

Naruto tried to stare him down but the brat just jutted his chin standoffishly and made a noteworthy glare. I couldn't take it any longer and dragged myself between them.

I put each of my palms flat on their foreheads in a smack. Both of them let out baby cries and clasped their own hands over it, now staring accusingly at me. I gave the most deadpan expression a toddler could give and tried to stand up on my feet and walk away.

Keyword _tried_. I would've fallen flat on my forehead if Naruto and Sasuke wouldn't have pulled each of my arms. Like that was any better. I fell back on my butt.

I could hear Mikoto sigh and Itachi huff in amusement.

We huddled together inspecting each other in ways that only babies could.

Mikoto and Itachi closed on us and drew us into a hug. It was so abrupt that I didn't even try to wriggle my way out.

I didn't understand what Mikoto was talking about in broken whispers but I could hear and what little I could get was, "Sorry- Kushina..."

It made me pause. Come to think of it, wasn't Mikoto supposed to be Kushina's best friend and Naruto's Godmother? Was she mine too? But she didn't seem to have any influence or interest in Naruto's life according to the knowledge I had a lifetime ago. _Knowledge? Don't make me laugh._

I didn't know how long we stayed like that. I could feel something drip over me. She was crying. I don't think I could sympathize. She never made an effort to make Naruto's life better in the before. _But she is here now! So what? It conveys her final goodbye._

It was a little while after when she got up and lifted Sasuke up. Giving us each a little kiss on the top of our hair, all the while mumbling what I deemed as apologies, she stood up and headed towards the door. Itachi echoed her and poked our foreheads' and made way towards his mother.

So mature, even as a child… You never got to be a kid, did you? That little shoulders shouldn't feel the need to bear the weight of this cruel world.

Naruto seemed baffled with what was going on. Sasuke looked equally bewildered as he gazed in our direction and started to cry. In tandem, Naruto sniffled.

I could see Mikoto hesitating on the doorstep ushering Sasuke into silence as Itachi paused just a few feet ahead of us.

I didn't see whether he glanced back or not. I was busy trying to smother my brother with affection so that he'd stop the waterworks. It worked fantastically and he let out a high pitched giggle.

When I looked back at Itachi I could make out the small sad smile on his face and Sasuke's last longing snuffle.

Naruto's whine drew my attention and I patted his hair in what I hoped was a calming gesture.

They were gone before I could acknowledge them with a last look.

I spent the rest of the day soothing Naruto. I cuddled and nuzzled him affectionately so as to stop making him think of the events that occurred. It was exhausting but I think it worked. He was a little imbalanced with the interactions today. We generally _never_ met new people.

As I lay beside a fast asleep Naruto, all I could ponder upon was today's meeting.

Trying to distract myself I tried to sense my brother's warmth, _his chakra_. There it was, a massive amount surrounding him in a coil like a huge ball of sunshine; my little sun. It seemed happy and content; I pictured it as bright gold; reassuring and cheerful.

So we met the Uchihas. Their arrival and departure were so abrupt that it's still reeling me. Were they even allowed to visit us? With the Uchiha's relations being strained with the village and Fugaku's constricting orders... Mikoto must've defied him for one last and first moment with us. _To bid the last of Uzumaki Kushina adieu_.

Today's day was productive in that way. I had hashed out a few things...

There was no mention of this in the before. But then again, Naruto won't be able to remember any of this afterwards. So I couldn't confirm whether this happened or not. My presence must've already started the ripples.

The Butterfly Effect commenced.

 _Chakra._

Mikoto's seemed powerful. But then again hadn't she been a jonin? It felt like faded embers. Like she _herself_ , her flame was being smothered down to nothing but ashes.

Itachi's was an average amount, surprising considering his age. It felt tranquil and collected. Like the 'Eye of the Storm' ready to burst, but contained. I wonder, in the future; if _his storm_ will wither away to mere gushes of winds too?

Sasuke's was surprisingly pleasing. It was small now as compared to others. Justified since he was a baby but I could envision it growing. It seemed like sparks and flames intertwined. I wonder if it will feel like a thundering lightning bolt or fearsome raging lava or perhaps a _mixture of both_...

Shiranui Genma, our most frequent ANBU caretaker was near our windowsill. I could feel his chakra close despite being muted to a very low level. He seemed confident and calm. _Even tempered,_ but like the sharpened blade of steel.

Fascinating what you could tell with people's chakra itself. I couldn't imagine their colours as they weren't familiar to me. Nor I could decipher the other aspects of their personalities. All I could sense was the way they projected themselves and their chakra. It took me such a long time to be even able to decipher Genma's chakra, it was always toned down to the lowest possible levels.

I let my thoughts wander away in hopes of dozing off.

Come to think of it, didn't Naruto beat Sasuke in their baby squabble? That was the last random remark floating in my mind as I gave away into the drift of slumber.

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 **Word Count:** _ **3,096**_

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 **Author's Note:** It was a bit too rushed for my liking. I may re-edit it later but for now there you have it! I wanted to post it before I left to immerse myself back into studies. So you wouldn't probably get an update till May. I may update once in between if possible!

Thank you for your lovely reviews favs and follows!

Please continue to lend me your support!

And REVIEW!

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P.S.- I updated this fic today, that is, the 23rd of February. As I mentioned earlier, this chapter felt a bit too rushed so I tried to refine it a little bit more. I apologise sincerely to the people who thought that I had posted a new chapter.

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 _ **P.P.S. 3/09/17** – It has been a long while… Life has dealt me a hard phase which I just came out off and started med school last week. I promised you after May, since I had three months off, but my exams didn't go as well as expected and the three months were quite tense, so I didn't have any inspiration whatsoever, despite trying and typing a word and shutting of my laptop every time. I apologize for making you wait longer, this will be the final edited version of this chapter(at least until I am more than halfway done with this fanfic and feel like re-editing) and the upcoming week the next chapter will be published. It will be extra long so hopefully, I will be forgiven. Due to popular demand, Italics is being toned down to bare minimum… _

_The English that is used in this fic IS British English, but the others which I will write will probably have American... I am not sure._

 _The next fic which I will post will be a Harry Potter SI/OC and Soulmates AU._ This will be the base from which I will be writing and developing my upcoming novel and participating the first time in NaNoWriMo in this upcoming November(Experienced Participants please share the tips as I want to take it seriously)... _It will be posted between September and October. October is going to be the month of frequent updates and new fanfics from me as I will have probably half the month holidays... And NO I won't be going back on my word this time as there is no major life changing event occurring and sending me into a fit of depression..._

 _Regardless of my other projects this fic is going to be updated, once every week(good weeks may have more than 1 but no more than 3 chapters-October), exceptions being my terminal exams and I will try my hardest during that time too! You will also find me in various other fanfiction and social websites, fret not it IS me and drop in a message whenever you want!_

 _Thank you for being patient!_

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 **Response to my Guest Reviews:**

 **Guest1437:** You've been my first reviewer for that I cannot thank you enough! But more than that thank you for that amazing review! I am glad you liked my characterization of Nagisa. And Masterpiece! D'aaww! You are making me blush! I apologise if it was rushed though ... LOL! And thank you for your support!

 **Nino:** Thank you for your honest review! I'm glad you appreciate the name. It took me a long while and quite the few trial and error methods to get it up to my satisfaction. Thank you for the constructive criticism! I will be taking it in stride but I apologize since there will be minimal use of italics; it's a part of my writing style I'm afraid. But I've lain off as much as I can and I will try to lessen the use of as we go further! Thank you!

* * *

 **Recommended Authors:**

 _ **Tsume Yuki**_ – I love her FemHarry; MOD Harry; FemNaruto and FemTsuna! She rocks the girl power!

 _ **cherryvvoid**_ \- She writes the most amazing SI/OC's! Hats off!

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 _ **\- Samsara**_


	3. A1-C2-The Toad, The Monkey and The Hound

**Title:** On the Edge

 **Author:** Samsara Amaranth

 **Summary:** Apparently death doesn't give you a reprieve from having an unruly sibling. Rebirth. Laws defying physics. A twin brother with a demon stuck in his gut having a penchant for running smack dab into trouble. And don't even get me started about the goddamn prophecy... Is it even a wonder I am teetering on the edge? SI/OC as Naruto's twin sister.

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto doesn't belong to me in any way or form. Neither am I making any profit from it.

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 _ **Arc One: The Orphanage**_

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 _ **Chapter Two: The Toad, the Monkey and the Hound**_

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 _Be not deceived by the first appearance of things, for show is not substance._

 _ **-Proverb**_

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We were once again being guarded by our nanny assassins. My baby twin was slobbering all over Genma whilst I lazed around on the floor. Peaceful moments were rare since my brother learnt enough basic language to blabber and listen, so I enjoyed it while I could. Naruto also had the attention span of a goldfish, so usually, it was up to me to entertain him after he got bored of our masked babysitters.

It had been a few months since the Uchihas' visited. Genma and Raido were the ANBU's who looked after us, alternating every once in a while.

Being a baby was difficult. And ever so boring. In my past life, I never had much patience when it came to myself, so it was surprising that I didn't burst out in impatience. The past few months I have been pondering upon the events since I was reincarnated.

Constantly meditating made me calmer, more focused and less hysteric. And frankly, I needed every ounce of my focus to survive in this world.

I was afraid for a while. Of meditating, that is. I was worried that I'd find myself as a human prisoner to a beast, an unknown entity. It was all too much! Someone kept caged in my body and I'd never know what they'd be able to see in my soul. And I was having hard enough time to even fathom that I had an actual proof for a living entity, that too it was stuck in my baby twin's gut. I tried to repress those thoughts.

The chakra sensing I could do… I never could feel my own chakra in the way I could feel others. So my fears weren't for nought.

I didn't find anything.

But the strangest thing, whenever I meditated, I think I found myself in a type of mindscape. That is the closest thing I could compare it to. Bits and parts of the places of my previous worlds, that were monumental in my life… The places I was excited, anxious, desperate, sad, hurt, at peace, the places I saw all over the world and held every other peculiar event I could think, were there… And so were the places I loved with the whole fibre of my being…

It was disturbing. The first time I ever saw it, was when I realized who I was, where I was. The next was the night when the Uchihas' visited. That time I stayed there for awhile. After that, I regularly visited every time I couldn't sleep. Be it dawn, noon or dusk.

I don't know why it was so. Maybe it depended on the state of my mind and soul. My belief…

I tried arranging it, changing it but to no avail. The only thing I could do was stay there and recall. The previous memories, the memories after my rebirth which were too blurred for me to understand. The new language which I was learning which was a definite mix of most of the prominent languages that existed before. It was staggering. It was like going through a crucial personality and reality test every time.

I noticed that I learnt the basics of the new language astonishingly quick. In the physical department, I was behind Naruto, but that was to be expected of the hyperactive little tyke with him being an actual kid and 'Naruto'. But I wasn't supposed to grasp a new language, especially such a complex one, that fast. Naruto was supposed to learn it before me. He did have an actual baby mind and his mind wasn't wired to two languages that didn't exist anymore.

I deduced that the events that occurred in the tale before, occurred immediately after my birth. One major difference is my birth. I remembered being shifted around and separated from my nudgy thing. I could recall scratchy memories of our seventh month where there was a Hound masked individual taking care of us for an entire month. Being watched over by blobs that upon closer inspection were dogs.

It took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure out that the individual was Hatake Kakashi. And imagine how Naruto would react when I told him that his future sensei changed his soiled nappies?

To be honest I wasn't really sure of what to expect of him. I knew that he wouldn't have been an important part of Naruto's life before becoming his genin instructor. Perhaps he must've been his ANBU shadow. But it was until after the visit of the Uchihas' that I started thinking about the 'canon characters' current and future lives and their role in my twin's own.

I had decided to not bother about Hatake Kakashi, as he was just a kid who had tragedies struck upon him one after the other. Socially retarded, mentally disturbed, perhaps suicidal teen nothing more, nothing less than an average ninja. And it wasn't as if he was a wonderful guide to my brother. He was just one of the ninjas, who were pretty powerful and played a major role.

I remembered being angry at him for abandoning Naruto, for being who he was and sorry for the pitiful life story he had.

I had no right, then. Now everyone I will meet are real people. Flesh and blood. Tragic tales while reading seemed sad, are nothing but horror stories in reality. I couldn't bring myself to judge anymore. Just like little Sasuke was an adorable toddler with no one's blood in his hands and had never done anything to my brother. These people were real.

I felt hysterical. What's real? Fake, story, imagination, life, death, everybody, family, Naruto… I am not supposed to be real…

It was common for me. Going into random fits of hysteria in the privacy of my own mind. Having a reoccurring existential crisis… It was like a never-ending exposure therapy. I have never stopped doing it.

That brings me back to my main point. According to the story of the before, the only people who were remotely capable of doing something like this; were the Yamanakas'. The clan of the mind readers.'This' being the jumping into the mindscape thing. Unless you were a jinchuuriki. But even then, Naruto only saw the place where the Kyuubi was caged.

Like I said, the development of the babies in this world was not normal, rather, normal for me, the way I was used to.

Naruto seemed to have ADHD. Uzumaki reserves plus the Kyuubi's chakra. If I tried to correlate it would explain the concentrating problems and the nervous energy he had in the series. Did he have a type of dyslexia too? I wonder. That would explain everything along with sabotaging instructors. Being the son of two brilliant people, he should've developed more, even if he didn't inherit Namikaze Minato's genius, prodigal mind.

Talking about Minato's genius, prodigal mind… Despite having the most prominent looks of Uzumaki Kushina I seemed to have inherited Minato's mind.

I concluded it way too early. No, I am not Mary Sue-ing myself like in those stupid self-insert fanfictions I used to read, despite it being a reality now.

I know it because when you have nothing but your mind to focus upon, you make startling discoveries.

I'd like to say I was pretty self-aware in my life. I knew my limits, my learning capacity. I was always quite sharp but not to 'genius' extents. I was smart. It was an irrefutable fact. But the emphasis was always on my deductive capabilities, my planning, my logical reasoning, analysing and the like.

The way I was deciphering things now, it was phenomenal. I shouldn't have been able to grasp a new language faster than a normal baby or take leaps of deductions the way I did now. It should not be possible to compartmentalize my mind, memories; past and new, recalling nearly forgotten things, making sense of almost indecipherable things that were lost the way I did.

At first, I thought it was due to chakra. It might have been one of the reasons but not the main one.

Genetics played a weird role in this world. Chakra scrambled it up. Orochimaru's experiments proved that. I was already an anomaly in the world of anomalies but my comprehension skills increasing up to this extent? It wasn't normal in any sense.

Prodigies and Geniuses were the only two of the categories that could do that. Prodigies were beings of very high intellect and geniuses were scarily intelligent too.

And despite the tale showing Kakashi and Itachi as prodigies and their minds working differently; Gai, Neji and most of the Rookie 9 were geniuses in their own rights.

Sasuke and Naruto were both prodigal in their respective areas.

Sasuke was a genius with prodigal tendencies. He worked hard and grasped things like a genius. But when it came to long term planning, he had a one track mind, which was a very dangerous weapon to both the enemy and himself. He analysed and picked out weaknesses in his enemies and manipulated people by just being himself. He had freakishly intuitive battle tactics and was methodical, precisely efficient in his techniques and weapons. He could compartmentalize when thinking about his one end goal.

Equally, Naruto was prodigal when thinking about pranks and trapping. He wasn't exactly the type of genius Sasuke was, but rather brilliantly observant as well as street smart. He thought on his feet and was best at coming out with the last moment strategies. He was unintentionally manipulative and deeply empathetic, with the ability to make the allies and enemies alike, pause and listen, which was a fright in its own accord.

My habit of psychoanalyzing people was one of the things that stayed. And thankfully so. In this world most of the ninja's and almost every person is either a psychologist/psychiatrist's nightmare or wet dream; pardon my crudity. And thus being able to understand their motives and ways of thinking would prove to be very beneficial…

Regardless of that, I noticed that with my current intellect my usual levels were amplified and I got better at doing things which I couldn't do… I don't think one would be able to consider me a prodigy, or a genius; rather tethering between the edge, as always… Please, I wasn't any of the above, with my adult way of thinking and mentality belonging to a different world. The normal problems prodigies faced that included social retardation and emotionally stunted growth wouldn't apply to me…I had more than enough problems of my own…

Adapting would be difficult… This world's way of thinking and their definition of the ordinary was completely out of whack. And I haven't even seen it properly yet!

The arrival of a tightly leashed chakra, flickering into soothing familiarity, washed over me, causing my inner rambling to die down.

Perking up from my spot I watched the window. There was a masked individual entering through it. ANBU's had a weird habit of entering and exiting through windows.

Naruto squealed and Genma let out a huff. I watched bemused as the individual's mask was revealed… Speak of the devil or rather, think about the devil and he shall appear…

"Hound…" Genma greeted cautiously.

He didn't respond and started slapping papers around the room with flickers of his chakra. It was fascinating to watch and feel. If I concentrated hard enough I could feel flashes of his light coloured chakra like sparks going off. Too absorbed in watching him I didn't notice two very strong chakra signatures until the door was opened.

Turning wide eyed towards the door, I saw as two men enter. 'The Professor' and 'The Toad Sage' looked like two harmless old men but their chakra and the steel behind their eyes told a contradictory tale.

Narrowing my eyes, I shifted my head so that Naruto was in the direct line of my vision. This visit didn't bode well. Genma's reaction was enough to convey that this was an unexpected visit as he stiffened in respect. As was Raido's grim countenance as he followed in after them. I couldn't feel Raido coming due to the two powerful chakras' masking his. Hatake Kakashi slapping seals in the entire room whereas he should've been in a mind numbing ANBU frenzy was yet another factor that made me squirm.

"Hokage sama, Jiraiya san?" Genma questioned as Kakashi and Raido stood beside him.

"At ease…" came Sarutobi Hiruzen's calm voice.

Jiraiya sighed looking weary, "So these are my godchildren? Look at them, near replicas of their parents. It is a good thing that Minato and Kushina constructed, what they did…"

The Hokage elaborated, "Yes… Kakashi Hatake, Shiranui Genma, Namiashi Raido, you three were personal guards to the previous Lord Hokage. Your position made you privy to, two of the S-Class secrets existing in our village. The first being that Uzumaki Naruto is the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, the second that the children you are guarding are the legacies of 'The Yellow Flash' and the 'Red Hot-Blooded Habanero'. The aforementioned were very high profile and thus have many enemies that'd wish to harm their children."

The Hokage breathed, "What you aren't aware is that you will be holding one more S-Class secret with you, today. Hatake Kakashi, that was the reason why you were asked to put Jiraiya's most effective privacy seals all around. Though the villagers are aware that Uzumaki Naruto is a jinchuuriki, none of them is aware that the blood of the Uzumaki clan flows through him. They and most of the village, barring the most trusted elites think that it was a name given in honour of being a jinchuuriki.

Similarly, none of them is aware that he has a sibling. Which brings me back to my point, Uzumaki Nagisa.

With them both looking replicas of their parents we would be hard tried to pass it off as coincidence and people will become aware of their heritage. We cannot have that.

And that is why no one, except the ones present in this room, the orphanage matron and Nagisa's and Naruto's godmothers' know how she looks like.

Naruto's godmother, Uchiha Mikoto has signed in blood, the sealed contract that doesn't allow her to disclose Nagisa's existence and thus keeping her safe. The exceptions are her children, which we couldn't find any other way out, as they were the godbrothers of Nagisa's twin brother and held their mother's blood in them.

Likewise, the orphanage matron has been diagnosed with 'Total colour blindness' or 'Colour vision deficiency', a disease, which doesn't let the chakra flow around the colour receptors and thus rendering her incapable of seeing colours the way a normal person does. She doesn't have any idea what is the actual colouring of any of their features.

We cannot hide the presence of Uzumaki Nagisa. Her unique colouring makes her easily identifiable as an Uzumaki. And my successor and his wife were well aware of the trouble that it would cause. Thus they designed a seal."

Jiaraiya continued, "When they became aware that they were having twins, they knew the probability of having a child with the distinctive Uzumaki hair colouring, would be high. So in order to save their children the grief and constant paranoia that Kushina felt; they made a seal, which would affect the appearance. It won't be an illusion. Nor would it alter the features for life."

Jiraiya started pacing, "The seal is based on the principle that involves the gene characteristics of the body. Specifically the hair colour. From what they researched, they found that the Uzumaki hair colour is a dominant gene. It generally overshadows all other hair colours. That was how they knew that at least one of their children was going to be born with the same. So taking proper precautions they worked around it."

Hiruzen explained, "To minimize the risk they heavily collaborated with a medic nin. Senju Tsunade was the medic nin who overlooked it. She couldn't refuse the direct order of the Hokage. Being a distant relative of Kushina's from her grandmother's side and her help in fool-proofing the seal is what made her Nagisa's godmother. Her only condition was that she would never step a foot in the village again; even for the birth of her goddaughter. All their discussions were held just after Kushina knew she would birth twins. They usually met in Jiraiya's hideouts and various different locations nearby Konoha. I am afraid the demise of Minato and Kushina has driven Tsunade further into her grief…"

"It is not only her who was affected, sensei…" Jiraiya laughed bitterly.

The Hokage removed his hat looking worn and old. "I am well aware of that Jiraiya. We think that must be one of the reasons why instead of sealing the Yin half of the Kyuubi in Nagisa it was sealed in Minato itself. Though that we cannot be sure of. After all, it might be a price that one needs to pay for summoning the Shinigami. It is possible that the Yin half of the chakra was meant to pacify the being. After all whatever knowledge we gained about 'The Reaper Death Seal' and Naruto's seal, was from the seal itself and Minato's notes…"

Jiraiya mourned, "I know that sensei. But it is difficult! Minato and Kushina entrusted me to their legacies and I cannot even check up on them regularly; in person so as to not let wrong people get the wind of it.

My godson being used as village's weapon. Caging the most fearsome beast that was the cause of his own parents' deaths! And my goddaughter, the successor to one of the most ancient legacies of one of the most powerful clans! After all, the 'kekkai genkai' or the 'special Uzumaki chakra chains' that are said to have the power to cage even the tailed beasts, are maternally inherited! Kushina being the last 'Whirpool Princess' passed on a heavy legacy on her daughter's shoulder too! I cannot even protect them, from what they would have to face, what they are."

Sarutobi Hiruzen's eyes shadowed, "We must do what we must. There's no other way to it. You know that as well as I do, Jiraiya. The least you can do is hide Nagisa under the radar with that seal. And you would always have information about them from your spy-network and me. As for being an absentee godfather, you realize that you cannot put their existence in jeopardy. Moreover, enough. It is time to place the seal on her."

Jiraiya's face took on an unreadable look as I was picked up by Genma and spread over on a mat. Naruto watched silently in Kakashi's arms. Raido was stiff as a board.

I could do nothing but comprehend the words spoken, even as Jiraiya took out a brush and began to paint, what seemed like artistic designs, all over my lower abdomen.

It continued for a long time. Naruto hadn't made a sound. Perhaps he understood instinctively that whatever was being done was important to me, for me because he would never, ever put me in harm's way.

I was blank even as, after what seemed like forever Jiraiya stopped his work. There was a pulse of chakra as I gazed up into Jiraiya's sorrowful eyes and everything faded into oblivion...

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 **Word Count: 3,254**

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 **Author's Note:** Well hello! Finally I am back and sorry for the super delay! I ought to have had posted this chapter last week! Hope you liked it! It was a very informative chapter, not necessarily long as I promised you, but which explained my thoughts and views over the main cast and this chapter was the answer to everytime I read a Naruto twin fic and thought, 'What the hell' they are Kushina and Minato's duplicates, how can no one recognize them! And the seal idea was primarily inspired by many of the female Naruto fanfics in which Naruto has a seal that makes her appear as a guy! Though as you can see the concept is very different.

And like I said I absolutely abhor Mary-Sues... And the same old one half of Kyuubi AND chakra sensing AND chakra chains, annoyed me to no end! I hope and develop her character well. This chapter was quite a mish-mash of my thoughts and an important base for the future one! Hope you enjoyed it!

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 **Response to Guest reviews (Order by first reviewed):**

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 **Guest:** Thank you for loving it! Hope you enjoy this long delayed chapter!

 **Nino:** Thanks, I do so adore constructive criticism. And I dropped off the italics entirely, here!~ I love the Uchihas so of course I am going to bring them in. As for them playing a vital role... Sasuke is definitely part of the main cast in addition to Kakashi, Itachi and Mikoto I am not sure... Itachi, yes as he is such an integral part to Sasuke's character but well we will have to see what happens. And about Mikoto, that was my reasoning on why she left her best friend's kid... I am glad you liked it! Hope you enjoy this too!

 **Mari:** Of course I will keep writing, dear! Sorry for the delayed update though!

 **Agus: I** am glad you liked it! I heavily apologize for the delayed update!

 **Guest:** I am glad you found it interesting and don't worry she is an Uzumaki alright! She will get them into heaps of trouble! And you are the first to point out that Baby Naruto one! Haha! And don't worry I am not done with Kakashi yet~

 **Guest:** I am glad you liked it! And I love well written SI/OC's too! Hope this chapter clears majority of your doubts! ^^

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 **Recommendations: Vixen Tail** is an amazing author! If you haven't read her stories, check them out!~

* * *

 _ **\- Samsara**_


	4. A1 - C3 - The Orphanage

**Title:** On the Edge

 **Author:** Samsara Amaranth

 **Summary:** Apparently death doesn't give you a reprieve from having an unruly sibling. Rebirth. Laws defying physics. A twin brother with a demon stuck in his gut having a penchant for running smack dab into trouble. And don't even get me started about the goddamn prophecy... Is it even a wonder I am teetering on the edge? SI/OC as Naruto's twin sister.

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto doesn't belong to me in any way or form. Neither am I making any profit from it.

* * *

 _ **Arc One: The Orphanage**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Three: The Orphanage**_

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 _Sometimes paranoia's just having all the facts._ _ **–William S. Burroughs**_

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The incident was dubbed as 'Sealing of Uzumaki heritage' in my mind. Well that was what actually happened. Instead of being fraternal twin of Naruto, I looked like his identical twin. My face remained the same, if it changed, I couldn't guess due to all the baby fat. The shade of my eyes and hair instead of being 'all Kushina' turned into 'all Minato.'

Days passed by quickly and I came to terms with my new appearance hesitantly. Honestly, I was thrown off the loop.

For a while, I was still in a suspended state of disbelief of how easy it was for the people of this new world to change the entire genetic make-up and appearance of an individual with a few brush strokes. Yes, there are intricacies involved in the art of sealing but as compared to all the gene transplanting and all that genetic mojo that too only during formation of the foetus, was merely being considered, when I last lived. And there wasn't any other method short of plastic surgery for the permanent transfiguration of looks…

I don't think I'd ever stop feeling surprised in this world. Like I said, difficult to change a lifetime of mentality.

Months had passed since that incident and Naruto and I turned three when we were moved in with the other children in the orphanage.

The matrons didn't physically abuse us. We were neglected, treated coldly and for a child that summed up to mental abuse as generally, children need constant attention. Naruto was definitely an attention-demanding kid. Ostracizing us turned it worse. I wonder if this was why he developed such a loud personality in the future. My presence helped. I am sure of that. But it wasn't enough. It was a bitter thought to swallow. That I wouldn't be enough for him, that unlike myself who was completely dependent on him for my will to live it wasn't the same for him. That he would need others, needed them to be happy, normal. How did I come to that realization?

It became soon obvious. Naruto dimmed in his intensity as the children took on following the matrons' behaviour. They weren't at fault, I know. They were just mimicking what their elders did in order to gain approval and stay accepted, but it wasn't right and no matter their mental or physical age I couldn't let it go nor forgive them for causing my baby such sadness. He tried hard but listening to him sob silently at night, wondering what he did wrong was heartbreaking. Wondering what a kid did wrong at his age, pondering upon his existence wasn't something a child should have to do!

It made me grit my teeth in anger. It made me want to lash out these stupid people. How dare they act so ungrateful when my brother was deemed to sacrifice himself by making his body act as a container to an entity? Instead of worshipping him like they should they made him curl upon himself and made him cry his little heart out? I couldn't forgive them… No matter their ignorance, age, them being civilians or any other excuse.

My baby brother was my priority. I didn't have any attention or affection to spare for these worthless people. He may crave their acceptance, forgive them for all the wrongs they did to him but I won't ever forget. They were ignorant, unimportant and it made me feel a twisted happiness at knowing they weren't ever mentioned nor acclaimed important in the future that was going to come.

Was I a bad person? I don't know according to others, I might be… I don't think I can classify things into white and black or good or bad anymore… After all, it was all about perception and mine is definitely out of whack.

Our ANBU guards disappeared. Seemingly… I imagined I caught a flicker of familiar chakra at nights when I tried to go in the deep recesses of my mind and failed. Failing to go into my mindscape started happened more frequently. I noticed the days when I was bitterer when I fumed or festered negative emotions I couldn't go in. It made sense in a way. Recalling the concept of Occumulency from a well-read series and a certain Professor's words to 'Clear the mind' made me think of the similarities of it.

And those days when I couldn't go, my next day was worse, I got exhausted more quickly and then came a day when I was too emotionally wrung out to feel anymore and I fell into a deep sleep and amidst it, I found myself there again. Naruto got worried so I did my best to prevent it.

Meditation helped but I still cannot control my emotions especially on those days when the children hit my brother and were excused as playing or kids being kids.

That's not to say I was treated well. It was more or less, the same. 'The demon and the demon's sister' was what they whispered. I tried to shield my brother the best I could but I couldn't say how much success I achieved. Naruto was getting good at putting up a brave front and laughing along. It made me upset to think how much of the canon Naruto's personality was shaped as a front due to his harsh life and how different would have been his original one if he would've been provided with the normal upbringing or whatever was the criteria for normal in this world? Would he have been like 'Menma'?

No use in losing myself in the thoughts of what could've been. We were provided strictly adequate enough food, we weren't physically abused nor starved unless you count the other kids being cruel. I guess I shouldn't complain. Because it wasn't as worse as it was imagined by the fans in the before. I was glad for that but that didn't make me any less furious at the psychological abuse being heaped on a little child, that too, one I was strongly attached to.

We never saw the kind old matron lady that had gotten attached to Naruto in our early years again.

It had almost been a year since we moved to the orphanage. The bond between me and my baby twin grew stronger. There were times when he tried to be the brave boy and protect his sister and tried to hold up his emotions while I marvelled at his maturity and development in the past two years. But then there were those moments were he wailed his tiny heart out and covered us with snot and tears hugging me till he exhausted himself to sleep. These were the moments when I felt the most helpless.

We used words now. I learned the complex language that was spoken here in the second year of my life that was carefully monitored by the ANBU and my babbling made Naruto grasp it faster too. I cannot describe the pride I felt when he called me 'Nagi nee chan' in his adorable baby accent. I don't know which one of us was younger physically, perhaps I was since I felt my nudgy thing leave the warm homey place before me but I cannot be sure. Yet being the mental age I was it was astute of him to address me as the older one.

Sometimes though I feel like his mother, the emotions I feel when he glances at me beaming in triumph and accomplishment of learning a new word, finishing a new puzzle, learning to run were priceless and endless. I wouldn't know, I never got the chance to be one. One more thing to lament about my lost life. But those were endless too and unless I wanted myself to drown in my mournful, miserable 'what I should've experienced in my last life' thoughts I'd better avoid them.

Then came the day when everything changed again. It was October 10. Naruto's fourth birthday. The day when we were both turning four and our parents' death anniversaries. And also the countless nameless people that died during the attack of the nine-tails…

The day began normally except for the tighter hug we shared.

"Happy Birthday nee chan!" Naruto laughed excitedly. "Happy Birthday Ruto…"I murmured back planting four kisses on his forehead for the years of our physical life to which he giggled happily. It was adorable.

It was a solemn day for others and also the day when loathing for us was an all-time high. I wasn't careful enough. The last two birthdays were spent with our ANBU caretakers so we were entirely safe… I didn't need to worry about the matrons', the children or mobs is there were any. Even now we rarely got out of the orphanage and if we did it was nearby places that too in a crowd of children that hid us sufficiently.

I didn't foresee this coming. I had a vague notion of wanting to be more alert but then I decided not to leave our room and eased up a bit. Naruto often sensed my mood and behaved accordingly. I didn't want him to spend his fourth birthday with full of unneeded paranoia.

All of the matrons' treated us coldly except there were moments of warmth that shone through. It occurred frequently in one such matron. She was young, perhaps in her mid-twenties with a pleasant face and pretty brown eyes and dark hair. I noticed her treating us warmly from time to time and relaxed a little around her.

She took us in the kitchen and sang a soft little birthday song for us. It felt pleasant to ease the paranoia and act like my physical age as I smiled and Naruto grinned so wide I feared it would leave a permanent imprint on his face.

Softly carding her fingers through our hair she provided us with a small birthday cake. It looked delicious. It was a soft pink with chocolate sprinkles on it. She cut the cake neatly into four equal pieces and offered it to us warmly, "It is fine, I made it myself! Happy Birthday to you both…"

It was the tastiest thing I had in this lifetime. I could see Naruto gobbling down the two pieces whilst I finished my first one. As he looked at mine with his sad puppy eyes, I shook my finger and remarked teasingly, "Na-ah, you will get fat if you eat this too!"

"Will not! But since it is nee chan's you must have it, I won't eat it!" he pouted.

The matron laughed and took us back to our room, "Eat it up, okay? And don't tell anyone, it would be both bad both for me and you…It will be our little secret." she smiled with a finger against her lips.

Naruto nodded delightedly and I melted inside. Instead of eating it I placed it inside a box and kept it neatly in a corner to give it to him as an evening dessert.

'I have had my share of wonderful birthday cakes. Let Naruto have this slice.' I mused to myself forlornly.

I thanked the matron silently again. At least Naruto got to have a normal birthday cake for the first time. He was a little wary of her at first but then calmed down in her presence. I too let my guard down.

We played till the afternoon. No one came to check on us neither were we let out. Perhaps it was for the better as no one would accuse us, especially the grievers. But the evening worried me. What were we going to do about today's dinner? In the morning we were provided to by the kind matron lady… 'I really need to find out her name.'

I was feeling a little tired and Naruto looked the same if not a bit more energised. 'Huh strange, Naruto is a lot more energetic than me and he doesn't get tired so easily…' I thought to myself as black spots started appearing in my vision.

Alarm bells started ringing in my head as I lost the motor control of my body and collapsed. 'I should have taken Naruto's wariness as a warning instead of a sign of being unable to accept kindness,' the thought and Naruto's screams of 'Nee chan' were the last, I heard before the world went black and I was engulfed in the strange darkness.

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 **Word Count:** 2097

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 **Author's Note:** Yet again apologies for the late update... Thank you for your enthusiastic response, especially the reviews! The Academy arc begins in a chapter or two!

Happy Halloween!

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 _ **-Samsara**_


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